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Still got this

A very quick update to say I recently forgot to celebrate my six year sober anniversary!

That actually happened! I can’t believe that the day/week/month even came and went without me even noticing.

I’m not saying that there are not still times when it’s hard being sober. There are moments when I really fancy being reckless. Times when just plain forgetting my worries would be a real treat.

An evening off from family anxiety or work stress would be bliss! The sheer escapism of it all still appeals.

But the memory of the bittersweet taste of those times are still with me.

I only have to go back and read this blog or other sober blogs to be reassured that this the place for me.

Alcohol never delivered all it promised to me. I expected too much to be fair. I was never really in it for just the one. Taking just the edge off didn’t cut it for me and never would.

I was after the full numbing, don’t give a fuck, where’s the party , I don’t want to feel my feelings experience every single time.

In an ideal world I would have a drink every time I had an uncomfortable feeling.

Just writing that makes me cringe at how scared I was of myself, of my own life.

I’ve learned to face myself, it’s not always easy and it’s uncomfortable sometimes. Occasionally it’s boring and I’m I’m not the party girl anymore. But it’s totally worth it and I’ve never been happier to look at myself every day and to know that I’m trying to live a life where there is truth and honesty and I finally have MY best interests at heart.

Putting yourself on the agenda doesn’t necessarily feel easy or natural but with a bit of practice it’s very rewarding and worth the pain along the way.

Still the best thing I ever did. Even if I’m not obsessing about it quite as much these days. It’s finally coming a bit more naturally I guess.

I wouldn’t have believed it to be possible.

Thanks to anyone who reads or writes in this space for being there when I needed someone.

I am so grateful

C xxxxxx

8 thoughts on “Still got this

  1. Beautiful, Carrie. I love this: “Putting yourself on the agenda doesn’t necessarily feel easy or natural but with a bit of practice it’s very rewarding and worth the pain along the way.” Thank you for the reminder. 💕

  2. Hey girl, congratulations! I have a necklace with a black stone and it always reminds me of you and ”sober is the new black” ! So good to hear from you. I’ll be 6 this July. It was a treat taking the journey with you. Hugs sweetie!
    Sharon

    • Oh my how far we’ve all come
      We are so lucky to have found our way and each other
      Hope all is going well for you!!
      It was so lovely to meet you all that time ago
      5 years…awesome x

  3. Hi Carrie,
    I’ve just started reading your blog from the beginning. Congratulations on your 6 years sober huge milestone, so amazing!
    I was just wondering if i could reach out to you for support please? like you did others.
    I’m wanting to kick alcohols butt once and for all too
    Thanks
    Carrie

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