Home » Uncategorized » One year treats and thoughts…

One year treats and thoughts…

Thank you to everyone who commented and sent good wishes for my one year soberversary, I was really touched as always by the support and time taken by
this lovely sober support network. I even had some flowers delivered to me from a wonderful sober blogging friend on the other side of the world!!
There was cake, of course, and a new jacket that I have worn almost every day since. Every time I put it on I feel happy. I remember how far I have come from the yo-yo drinking/guilt/pain that was my existence a year ago. My life was absolutely saturated in alcohol. All those expensive trips to the supermarket and corner shop that I have been saved from, have resulted in the most loveliest treats.
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have a case of the what nows? Worrying about whether I would be able to stick with sobriety long term?
I’ve tried to put those thoughts aside, as they are always going to be too overwhelming for me. I have never looked too far ahead in the road before and staying in the moment is easier to cope with. The one day at a time serves well to keep me relaxed and happy.
My life has changed so much in the past year, though it’s been really gradual. I’ve slowly removed myself from being overly sociable and gradually I have stripped myself of the party girl label. It feels calm and I think I have done a lot of growing up. I’ve come to terms with having fewer hiding places from my emotions. I am slowly learning to stand up and face life head on. With that comes a new sense of authenticity and achievement that feels really good.
Whilst I miss the anticipation of a fun boozy night out on the town, I did have a sober first a couple of weeks ago that really surprised me.
Driving home from work on a Friday night, mentally planning my outfit etc for birthday drinks and dinner with a bunch of girl friends, when I felt a old familiar rush of excitement about going out and letting my hair down. This feeling however, was not immediately followed by the newly familiar anti climax of ‘oh but I can’t have any fun without alcohol etc’. This was a huge first for me, I have embraced nights out and forced myself to be the uber-cool-fun-sociable sober girl but it’s taken a lot of effort. To be genuinely looking forward to
the evening’s events without any booze thoughts at all was awesome!! It was a great night and another giant sober step for me.
With time the booze focused thoughts and associations do fall away one by one. With that it gets easier and being sober becomes more natural and something you think about less and less.

What I don’t take for granted yet is how amazing I feel every weekend when I once again wake up hangover free and set about getting the most out of another weekend. And family life is totally different now that I can be counted on to be present, reliable and in good spirits!
So, I feel like I have found my sober feet.I am excited about being excited to socialise again. I’m hoping that I keep on making progress and that the learning is as interesting as it has been this past year.
I have met lots of interesting sober bloggers in real life, it’s wonderful to meet people that you connect with instantly on such a big lifestyle issue. I’m looking forward to meeting more sober cool people and keeping the connections that I have made so far.
I wonder if I will ever have a ‘normal’ life again? It wasn’t exactly normal before..
Will I always need the support of like minded sober people or will I one day be able to stand alone in my life as a sober girl amongst all of the drinkers? Will I still be writing/reading blogs in another year, forever even? I will keep doing what I’m doing because it works and it keeps me sober.
Not just sober, sober and happy. And in excellent company too.

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29 thoughts on “One year treats and thoughts…

  1. I love everything about this Carrie. It gives me so much hope to see where you are know, knowing you’ve been where I’ve been and that you’re happy as larry on the sober side!

    You’re my sober heroine and you know how instrumental you’ve been in my sober journey. So thank you, thanks a million and here’s to many more sober weekends ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Carrie. This was such a good post. Each day is a day to celebrate. No need to plan too far ahead. Love that you can look forward to those evening gatherings. That is truly a testament of acceptance of your new and improved life change. Congrats on one year! I’m getting close (300 tomorrow)!

  3. Well done, you are my inspiration. I’m only a few weeks into my sobriety but I know I can do it. Your blog was the first blog I read and something just click and I knew I had to do it. Thank you so much!

  4. Second here re the sober heroine ๐Ÿ™‚

    This is so heartening to read and particularly the part about the new sober breakthrough re excitement about socialising without the association that you will be missing out in some way because you’re not drinking – that is HUGE. And gives me hope. I can see how it’s not come overnight but taken a lot of effort on your part. To know that is potentially on the other side of all that hard work is a lovely thought as this is one of the biggest things I endlessly struggle with and I’ve wondered if it ever goes away.

    Yay, you! I want pics of that fabulous jacket at some stage ๐Ÿ™‚

    xo

    • It’s a whole lot to do with time and mental attitude is a big part of it too. While I have embraced nights out enthusiastically this excitement and anticipation just crept up on me and what a lovely surprise.
      It’s a combination of me believing in how I live my life now and my friends social acceptance of that. We’re getting there and you can too.
      Huge hugs to you and hope you are ok too.
      xxxx

      • Hello my dear. I have been meaning to email you but yes, thank you, I am doing ok. Hanging in there. Happy to be past a month again (latest Day 1 was March 1st) and just trying to rack up a bit of time again and get my head back in the right sober, positive space. I realised recently that the worst thing about all this on-off is that it really keeps you stuck in the early stages of sobriety, which is a lot of the crap without the pay-off. As you have taught me, it is really all about TIME. xx

  5. It is so cool that you felt excited for a night out sans booze… I can sorta see that happening but am totally not there yet. I agree about the hangover-free weekends, as they are THE BEST. It is wonderful to go out on a Saturday night and 100% know for a fact that I will be capable of doing things all day Sunday while feeling great. You rock, girl! xx

    • I feel like I have the best of both worlds now. The ability to have a fab night out and then get everything I want out of my precious weekend too. Just gets better and better.
      Thanks Jen xx

  6. I can feel the happiness literally oozing out of this post. Well done. So pleased for you. I am slowly starting to get inspired again by yours and others happy sober stories. xx

    • Cleo, you know I almost didn’t publish this post because I thought it was a bit too upbeat, too much happy stuff and not enough grit!
      But you are right, it oozes out because I still can’t believe it is possible to be this content without booze. i still have shit days, family issues, self doubts, but I have been forced to learn new healthier ways to cope that actually sometimes work, and don’t leave me feeling like a bag of shit.
      I am glad you are being inspired, there are so many great blogs around right now..
      xx

  7. Excellent read. How great it is to have a year in review so to speak. The thought of summer approaching has me a little wigged out as it will be my first one sober, yet, reading your comments makes it all seem so manageable and definitely worth it! Congrats on the 365. It’s fabulous.

    • Thank you!
      Try not to overthink anything. It’s really best to stay in the moment if you can and if you are doing it now and then you add another day, and then another, you get stronger than you’ve ever thought possible and you’ll cope. Hopefully more than cope ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. present, reliable and happy IN AN AMAZING JACKET. sounds pretty good to me ๐Ÿ™‚

    so glad you had a brilliant night out and that you are rediscovering the joys of anticipation!

  9. Who cares what will happen next week, month or year?! What matters is right now, this minute, this second and that you are a beautiful, sober, happy woman. Tomorrow will take care of itself…let it.

    Congrats again.

    Sherry

    • I love that Sherry!! Imagine just letting it be…that has been a huge factor in getting this far. Just being, and letting be..
      This moment is all we have. Glad to have you here xx

  10. If it’s that pale blue leather jacket that I was lusting after when we met that was one rocking sober treat! ๐Ÿ™‚ Fancy that run in May? ๐Ÿ˜‰ xx

    • Well, a year deserved a huge rocking sober treat…or two ๐Ÿ˜‰
      I’m thinking about it, I really am. Will let you know, especially the weather’s looking brighter. I am bit of a fair weather runner.
      Must meet up again for coffee soon though…
      xx

  11. Pingback: No TV Watching for 30 Days: Everybody needs a vice/vise. | Sunny Sanguinity

  12. I enjoyed reading your story, I to have not had a drink now 1 year 1 month & feel best I ever have since I was 17, every thing changes so much , friends even say I’m boaring now cos I don’t drink!!! I do struggle some days would live to meet people who in same boat start having nights out with people don’t drink, where do u go or who to get in contact with. I love my new life no drink but I do get lonley sometimes!! What I do love is that my kids are sooo proud of me. ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ™

    • I found lots of people through blogging and we meet up in London regularly enough. Belle’s blog at Tired of thinking about drinking is an amazing resource and a great place to shout out for local meet ups.
      They’re a bit scary at first but go along and you’ll meet amazing people. It’s worth it!
      Well done for doing a year!! Ditto – doing it for the kids! That’s the very best feeling.
      Thanks for reading x

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