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Lovely weekends

We’ve been invited out to dinner tonight. I don’t worry about not drinking spoiling the fun, if there’s fun to be found, I’ll find it.  I’ll have a nice evening and then I’ll get a good night’s sleep. I’ll still get up early, sort the house, have a long weekend run and get the most out of it being a day off. We’re off to see a film Saturday night and out for dinner after that. All lovely and quite busy but that won’t write off Sunday either!

Next week, I have two, possibly three evenings out but without the booze and the inevitable hangover, it’s possible to fit it all in and it doesn’t mess with all of the other shit I need to get done.

Last evening, I was tidying away after dinner and looking forward to sitting down with a cup of tea and doing a bit of internet window shopping for my bedroom when I thought how simple and straightforward my evenings at home are these days. It’s chilled. There’s no drinking and worrying about how much I have had, or when to stop, or whether there is enough wine. I don’t feel guilty about not connecting with the rest of family as I’m not isolating in the kitchen anymore, hiding how much I am drinking from everyone else. There’s no rushing the kids off to bed just so that I can ‘relax’ and get a little drunk again before heading up for another rubbish night’s sleep. It’s just calmer and it actually really is relaxing.

So, the shopping’s done and  I am up early, making a start on work so I can finish early today. I can’t get used to having this air of calm around me. I used to wonder how other people got through the evenings at home without wine, couldn’t understand why they didn’t participate in daily drinking. Why didn’t they think that home life could be enhanced by injecting some ‘fun’ into the evening by adding a little wine every night?

I keep waiting for the bubble to burst and everything to start getting a bit harder again, for the chaos to return. It’s a whole new Friday feeling that has nothing to do with getting drunk, being reckless or escapism .I am finally beginning to embrace and look forward to it and it’s hard to imagine ever wanting my life to go back to how it was before.

 

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29 thoughts on “Lovely weekends

  1. Wonderful post and how true. I, too, always wondered what other people did with their evenings, and now I know. They enjoyed them and remembered them. Unlike mine that were mindless and fuzzy from wine. It is so much better now.

  2. I was thinking something very similar myself today. How many nights have I wasted sitting in the kitchen alone, with my glass of wine, whilst the children have been in the other room playing/watching t.v/ getting on with life without me. Now, I feel as though we’re a proper family again.

  3. I have been thinking lately how strange it is for regular drinking every day to become normal…the norm, if you will. It just becomes that way after time and repetition. It is SO much nicer and more relaxing to do other stuff instead. Enjoy your busy social week…sounds like fun! 🙂

  4. Lovely post, Carrie. I agree. I’m only recently back to not drinking, and I’m amazed how much I love my evenings. I look forward to tea and conversation and knitting and reading–so much better than a bottle (or more) of wine. Thanks for being an ongoing inspiration!

  5. Although I’m newer to the journey than you as I walked up to my front door from driving home from work there was no thought of drink or missing of drink just ahhh the week-end, 2 days off from work. It is lovely 🙂

  6. I’m still pretty new to this and having the same thoughts. I used to be so incredibly overwhelmed with my life and “stuff” to do. I wondered how everyone else managed to get so much done and I couldn’t get squat done. This, of course, led to me feeling like a complete failure in managing my life and ’round and ’round I’d go in self loathing while topping off my glass. A quiet life, getting my shit done, time on my hands. Priceless.

  7. Hello, i’m so glad I read this post (and found your blog) – I am just starting out on this journey of giving up wine, and posts like this are so so inspiring and helpful. I was exactly like you and wondered what on earth people did with their evenings without wine to get them through… but after a few very low points and the realisation that I was destroying myself and being a pretty bad mother, I am so determined that this is it, I am giving up…

    • Your blog post sounds exactly like my last few drinking episodes…so self destructive and goes against everything you usually hold so dearly.
      Welcome, if you need anything, just ask x

  8. So true. I’d forgotten actually.. and lately have just been taking calm evenings for granted. The saddest thing about my drinking was that it made me go in a bubble in my head and not connect with my husband.. he’d slope off to bed eventually and I’d sit up on my own finishing all the wine in the house. and yeah there was just that edge of chaos always present with the endless wine consumption. This is indeed a lovely post – all your wonderful commenters are right! Big hugs to you from NZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxx

    • Thank you Carrie and everyone who commented! I can’t believe other women were having the same thoughts about “what do other people do in the evenings,” and how boring it must be to have a normal, party-free night. And seeing now that a party of one stumbling from the kitchen to the sofa is not a party. 😉 I love having so much time, real time! Thanks to all of you for sharing.

  9. Well hello everyone.. I’m going to be a newbie if you’ll let me.. Just reading all the wonderful things gives me hope cuz I can’t EXPRESS in words how bad I want it I just am having a REALLY HARD TIME getting there!! It’s just so hard and if I don’t quit I’m going to die!! And IMLOVE MY Life!! I’m so happy.. So WHY THE HELL ISNT THAT ENOUGH FOR ME JUST TO STOP.. I’m soo frustrated and so all over the place with my feelings.. Anyways!! Thanks for listening!! Y’all’s stories definitely INSPIRE ME!! Have. Wonderful day my friends!!

    • Welcome Sonya! I know just what you mean. I drank, a lot, every night for 12 years, and just recently found this other side. Because there was only one inevitable end to continuing to drink every night. I just want to say that life is so so so much better without alcohol!!! I never would have believed it, but it truly is. The first days are the hardest. I found strength in this awesome sober blog world. Check out Carrie’s “blogs I follow” for more. You can do this. Lindsey

      • Hey Lindsey. . Thanks for,responding.. Well it’s only been a couple of weeks and I’m literally in hell.. Everything in my body is out of whack.. I’m shaking like a freak.. NONE of this happened the last 17 years.. But I WILL say that the FIRST time I got on this BLOG of Carries and it was the strangest thing.. Something TRULY clicked in my head from actually getting the biggest HIGH from reading y’all’s stories.. I WANT what all of y’all have SOO MUCH !! I just don’t know if I can.. I CRAVE that devil shit vodka .. This SUXS!! Well thanks for listening .. This is only my second time here and it already makes me feel better for whatever reason.. “People” just .say “STOP DRINKING” and that pisses me off .. Don’t they think I would if I could.. I wouldn’t wish what I’m going thru right now on my worst enemy!! Please please whoever reads this don’t get upset with me.. I sure didn’t mean to bring ANYONE down.. I’m just soo jeoulous!! Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday…Sonya

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